


a human heart gently beeping (i’m half human and half machine)

by goldenheure



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Not a ton of angst, autistic!chell, i just love chelley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:29:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27076516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenheure/pseuds/goldenheure
Summary: chell, an employee at aperture science, is assigned a simple task: assess the new AI’s abilities and train it accordingly. spoilers: not that simple!
Relationships: Chell/Wheatley (Portal)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	a human heart gently beeping (i’m half human and half machine)

**Author's Note:**

> heehee chelley time >:)

“Johnson.”

The sharp voice dug into Chell’s brain. She looked up from her monitor to see her supervisor, Caroline, looking down at her with a mix of curiosity and disdain. The woman’s sharp haircut and sharper attitude were both intimidating and annoying.

Chell grabbed her tablet and tapped at the screen, generating her response. She was thankful that Aperture was fairly progressive in that it accepted AAC as a “valid form of communication,” whatever that meant.

”What?”

Caroline dropped a thick file folder onto her desk. 

“You’ve been assigned to the Robotics Department’s new case. Read up on it and do it. The investors have been on my ass about this. Can you do that?”

Chell furrowed her brow.

”That isn’t my department. I work in Logistics.”

Caroline rolled her eyes. 

“Do you think corporate cares? No.” She leaned in and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t tell anyone I told you, but rumor has it that Black Mesa is right behind us on the AI development train. They’ve got that Dr. Freeman working on it, but he’s no expert. The guy went to school for physics, not machines.”

Chell nodded. She hated the situation but knew that complaining wouldn’t help.

”Okay! Good luck.” The woman stood back up and swiftly walked off, leaving her with the folder. Chell thumbed through it, seeing what she had to do.

The plan seemed easy. The AI was built and programmed, with the ability to learn from its environment. Chell’s job was to change the environment to teach it what it was supposed to learn. Like teaching a baby.

She stood up and grabbed her tablet, beginning her walk to the Robotics Department. The office was mostly empty, as she was one of the only employees in her department. Doug had been her coworker, but got transferred. Mental health issues, or something she didn’t care about. Atlas and P-body were also there, but they didn’t speak to each other. No need.

After a brisk walk, she arrived at the door. She opened it and walked in, where a white coat was waiting for her.

”Johnson?” He asked, looking down at his clipboard.

She made swift use of her tablet. “Yes. That’s me.”

He checked something off. “Okay. Your assignment is in Room 2. Good luck.”

She gave him a polite nod and headed to the room. She entered it and took in the machine.

It was eerily human. Obviously not truly human, but her previous experiences with AI had been tiny pods that turned off the lights or played songs when asked. It was taller than her. Wires surrounded it.

She debated approaching it when it opened its eyes, revealing two piercingly blue lights. The same color shone from a large ring light on its chest and various markings on its body.

”Oh! ‘Ello. You must be my handler, or something? No’ sure what t’ call you. Name’s Wheatley.”

Chell had a flurry of emotions. What should she say? She thought.

”Why are you British?”

The robot tilted his head. “British?”

”Your accent.”

”I suppose that’s just th’ choice of whoever programmed me, yeah? For a human, it’s funny. I’m the machine an’ you’re using technology t’ talk.” He said, laughing to himself.

”I’m autistic, you asshole.”

”Au.. what.. ah, whatever. I’m just playing. Anyway, what’s on th’ agenda, boss lady?” Wheatley stood up. Even taller. Jesus.

”I’m confused. You seem to know a lot of stuff. What am I teaching you?”

”I don’t know. I’d like to know what an apple is, for one. Or how to juggle.” He said.

”An apple is a fruit. It’s the offspring of a tree.”

”Offspring.. like a creation? I suppose I’m my creator’s offspring, then.”

”Sure. Not important. I don’t want to be here either. I work in logistics, not machinery.”

”Oh, logistics? Like, chaos theory, n’ all that? If then, sort of thing?” He asked. That piqued his interest.

”Yes, exactly. It’s logical, as the name suggests. I love finding patterns and seeing the logic behind it!” Chell jumped up and down in excitement and flapped her hands in unbridled joy, but stopped when she noticed Wheatley giving her a confused look.

”Should I be doing that?”

”No, don’t. It’s not normal, apparently.” She rolled her eyes.

“Neither is a robot, but here I am.”

Chell gave a sage nod. That was true. She pulled out her stylus and opened a note-taking app on her second tablet, writing out a simple formula. Nothing complex, just 9th grade algebra. An input-output function table.

”Can you find the formula for this?” She asked, showing him the table. He put a finger to his lips in thought.

”Nope. But that’s why you’re here!” She glared at him. She sat down at a table and gestures for him to do the same.

”Oh, first lesson. Yay. Hope I pass. Will you give me a gold star sticker?”

Chell handed him the tablet. He read the instructions she wrote: “find the formula based on the values provided.”

He made quick work of it, finding the pattern in seconds.

”Now what?”

Chell took back the tablet and wrote out the formula template.

”Oh! Okay. I see.” He plugged his findings into the formula and handed it back to her, beaming.

She looked over it and gave him a thumbs up.

”Yay! I did it! Oh, thank you, you’re a dear.”

”It’s incredibly elementary. We’ll have you doing calculus by lunchtime.” 


End file.
